Year of the Crazy

Today is officially the first day of my new lease at 1402. Apparently the second year is the year of the crazy. Crazy landlord, that is.

Let's call her mom.

Mom called me today while I was at work. Apparently because nobody else would listen to her. I tried keeping notes as she talked, but the crazy was flowing too fast for me to keep up. One classic line, in reference to a former roommate who still had his car in the driveway this morning went like this:

"He is a tresspasser. And you don't have the right to give him the right to park there because I don't give you the right to park there. I could tow it today if I felt like it. Tomorrow I won't be so generous."

He, of course, picked up his car today when he dropped off his key.

She also called out one of the new roommates who has lived in 1402 all of 19 hours:

"Keep an eye on the person upstairs. He already asked to have 2 friends over on the long weekend"

I actually didn't know I had to ask permission to have friends visit. Tomorrow my brother is coming over, I won't be asking for permission. I guess someone should be keeping their eye on me as well.

Later she called me again, but I was out running so she got my voice mail. She never leaves messages. She actaully told me on the first phone call today, "I never leave messages." On this day, however, she left a message. I can see why she doesn't normally leave messages, but I can't do her insanity justice textually. I can't just leave you hanging, though. A bit of wisdom she lets loose is that:

"Kitchens are for eating. People have tables to eat on and the tables - it does belong to me - and I expect it to be kept in the kitchen with chairs around it and to be used for eating."

When I get my hands on a microphone, you will be able to truely appreciate mom.