The Phone Message

I mentioned in my first post about 1402 that Mom left a message on my phone. I requisitioned a microphone so I could internetify this message for you all to understand exactly what we're up against here.

I should preface this with: we are guilty of pretty much everything she accuses us of.

• We did string a (single) cable from a bedroom to the back porch so we could watch baseball games while BBQing in the back yard.
• We did have lights hung from the porch to a nearby tree, over our picnic table, so we could see what we were doing after it got dark during our BBQs.
• We did have a CD player that we would use to listen to music while we were on the porch
• We did store the TV and CD player on the table in the kitchen (on the other side of the wall from the porch)

You can listen to the message here: http://www.miahgordon.com/blog1402/shirley_message.mp3

The table she is talking about is a small table in the back corner of the back kitchen that we rarely use (the front kitchen is a much nicer kitchen)



As she mentions she moved it (rather, she had her handyman move it) from against the wall. As you can see, the original position was quite an eye sore!

And, as she says: "people have tables to eat on." So it was probably inconsiderate of us to use the kitchen table to store our television and stereo on.

I mean, it wouldn't have been so bad if there was at least another surface we could eat on in the kitchen...







Or maybe if there was a second kitchen where everyone actually does all of their cooking in that had a table in it....






Or if that other kitchen had a bar in it that we could eat off of.



And it totally wouldn't't have been a problem at ALL if everyone always used the same table to eat and tha table was in the den...

So it was probably best for the house that Mom had that kitchen table cleared off for us. Now we finally have a table to eat on again!



Towards the end of the message she mentions a sign. She has been putting a For Rent sign out in front of the house. But it keeps mysteriously disappearing. Of course, it's no mystery to her. She knows that it's one (or more) of us that are taking the sign away.

This is the first sign she put up. For it to make any sense you'd have to first know that this house is like a mansion (did I mention it had 2 kitchens, 3.5 baths, a den and 11 bedrooms?) and it is on the corner of Paul and Centre street. The address is Centre Street.

The For Rent sign says "Paul Masion." So, my first question was, "Who is Paul Masion?" That sign was up for almost two weeks. I assumed Mom took it down herself after getting too many phone calls asking for Paul.

Soon after that sign and its mispelling disapeared, a new sign went up. That lasted a few days before it was gone. And then a third sign was there.

Now we're on the fourth For Rent sign. It's in the same place as all the other signs were. Right outside our drive way.

Two things to note about the sign.

1) the house is surrounded by trees. You really can't see the house until you're halfway up the driveway.

2) You'll notice another sign next to the For Rent sign. A speed limit sign... owned by the city... on city property...

I wonder who exactly is removing the sign... Mom is right. It's probably one of us. There's no evidence to the contrary, so it must be true!

That's it for now.

Nothing Except the Bathroom Sink

So I got home from work on Wednesday and there was a stillness in the air around 1402 that could only mean something had gone awry... Mom had been there.

There was a new sink in the 2nd Floor Back Bathroom, which happens to be the bathroom that I use. As you can see, it is a stylish pedestal lavatory. Two specific things to note about pedestal lavatories are that (according to http://www.doityourself.com/stry/typesofsinks) they:

a) Are more difficult to install than counter top vanities
b) Do not have storage space underneath.

Item B is of particular importance, since the sing that had originally been in this spot was not of the pedestal variety. I didn't know that there was going to be a new sink, so all I can provide of the original bathroom sink is an artists rendition.

Notice the vast counter space. Useful for keeping hand soap, and placing the things you are actively using. In the year I have lived here, none of us had any problems with abuse of the bathroom sink counter space, I don't understand why we had it taken away from us.

Another point is that the sink used to take up that entire nook, and had a cabinet underneath where useful items such as Saving supplies, Mouthwash, and extra toilet paper could be kept. Indeed, we DID keep such items in that cabinet! So imagine my surprise when I saw our brand new sink with its brand new pedestal and all that brand new space underneath ... and none of my bathroom amenities.

Where could they be? Or there they are! In a box next to the shower.

I took my things out of that box and put them back where they used to be. On the floor to the left of the new sink. It was a little odd, with not cabinet doors to close, they were just out in the open. But whatever, I'm sure the other 2 people that I share the bathroom with will understand. Besides, they'll have to do the same thing with all their stuff too!

The next day I went on vacation for the weekend. Knowing full well, that there could be no more surprises in the near future after the New Sink Incident....

When I got back Monday night at midnight all my toiletries had been thrown away. Not just mine. Everything from the box had disappeared. And everything I took out of the box was just as missing.

My razor, extra razor blades, the shaving mug that my grandfather gave me, mouth wash, Q-Tips, tooth brush heads... all gone.

Also, the new sink is leaking.
I had no notice that this work was going to happen. I had no notice that I should remove my things from the bathroom lest they be confiscated. I wonder how she expects us to be using this bathroom? Maybe it is just for show.

Year of the Crazy

Today is officially the first day of my new lease at 1402. Apparently the second year is the year of the crazy. Crazy landlord, that is.

Let's call her mom.

Mom called me today while I was at work. Apparently because nobody else would listen to her. I tried keeping notes as she talked, but the crazy was flowing too fast for me to keep up. One classic line, in reference to a former roommate who still had his car in the driveway this morning went like this:

"He is a tresspasser. And you don't have the right to give him the right to park there because I don't give you the right to park there. I could tow it today if I felt like it. Tomorrow I won't be so generous."

He, of course, picked up his car today when he dropped off his key.

She also called out one of the new roommates who has lived in 1402 all of 19 hours:

"Keep an eye on the person upstairs. He already asked to have 2 friends over on the long weekend"

I actually didn't know I had to ask permission to have friends visit. Tomorrow my brother is coming over, I won't be asking for permission. I guess someone should be keeping their eye on me as well.

Later she called me again, but I was out running so she got my voice mail. She never leaves messages. She actaully told me on the first phone call today, "I never leave messages." On this day, however, she left a message. I can see why she doesn't normally leave messages, but I can't do her insanity justice textually. I can't just leave you hanging, though. A bit of wisdom she lets loose is that:

"Kitchens are for eating. People have tables to eat on and the tables - it does belong to me - and I expect it to be kept in the kitchen with chairs around it and to be used for eating."

When I get my hands on a microphone, you will be able to truely appreciate mom.

What do I want to do with my life?

I don't want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don't want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed. You know, as a career, I don't want to do that.